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haven't been here in a long time

November 4th, 2007 at 11:41 pm

Hi everyone..

I haven't written in this blog for ages..

I have been doing so well. My father in law with dementia finally passed away. He was a good man.. and sorely missed..
Its too bad he didn't leave a will and leave my husbnd his inheritance.. But so be it.. The point is that WE treated him well and looked after him to the best of our ability.

its a funny thing that brought me back here today. This biyatch got my ip address and started to search my records.. And you know it sparked a get to myself day. Its been great.. and I hope the intrusive biyatch goes to hell.

I've moved out of my terrace house and rent right across from my daughters private school. Which is great! The rent is great too and we are saving tons of money as a result.. no hefty mortgages here..

the hubby is working full time now.. and doing great at his job. He has become quite sought after in his profession and has a great reputation.

I have been investing our money into dubai lately.. and will invest more into the american economy when house prices bottom out a bit more. And I can't wait till the uk prices go down as well. I ultimately put off buying a house because I figured out that it was the wrong time in my area and I didn't want to over extend myself. Despite the husband making alot more money these days.

on that note.. I'm glad the biyatch treated me so bad on american expats. Cuz now I have come back in this forum and hope to reach our initial goals very soon..

put an offer on a house

September 1st, 2006 at 03:32 am

I finally put an offer on a house. We put in a good offer and it was rejected! I am gutted. I am even more gutted because a house down the street that went up a few days ago already has an offer on it.

I passed it buy thinking it was too much.. and then I noticed it had a double garage. (hard to come by here in england in my price range).

So now I am even more gutted. Frown

I'm already happy so why do I need money?

September 1st, 2006 at 03:30 am

I'm already happy. Why do I need as much money as some of my friends. Yeah I see them role up in that benz they paid cash for.. Never mind they live on a estate and have the business sense to buy and sell properties in dubai + the cash. Yet her house is a mess.. ectr ectr..

I'm happier then I have ever been. So why should I be jealous.. But I am. I hate to admit it.. but I am jealous.. Maybe its because I once lived in luxury. I wonder to myself why has God denied me some money why people I feel are less them me have more.. Or maybe that is the problem.... I am proud.. I think I'm better than everyone else.. Why do I deserve money. Surely the people in africa are much better people than me.. they are honest even when they are starving. So what gives me the right to think I deserve even the money that God has given me already. Why am I ungrateful for what I already have??

I am so blessed.. I am happy and have a great family! I am debt free! I eat more than enough which is evident by the roll in my tummy ( I need to lose that). My kids are healthy!

Yet here I am sitting here dreaming I am a millionaire.. buying properties in dubai.. england... and Makkah. I am jealous of my friend whose husband makes that kind of money. I am upset with my own husband for not pushing himself harder and making more money. I am upset that I have to stay home and watch the kids because I can't afford to start earning money. This must be wrong to think this way!

Nope I should be happy for what I have. I am sure it is alot more than most people. I should be happy for my friend and wish her the very best. After all I had the choice to have a happy family or money. And I chose a happy family!

Which is why I guess having choices really bites. You buy a house.. and afterwards you look down the street and say.. oh I should have gone for that house .. its only 10,000 more.

You buy a car and you think... why did I buy this car?

YOu have kids and you think I should have waited just a lil longer and saved more money! And got on an excercise regime.

It was another trip to London £75 in petrol Uggg

August 29th, 2006 at 04:33 pm

Okay I have been trying to stick to this budget thing .. I am a bit upset with myself.

I bought my daughter a dvd players for the car.. I feel bad about spending that much money.. HOwever I still feel it was a must have item.... She didn't cry the whole trip.. and we didn't have to stop the car.. Yeah.. It cut our driving time down to 4 hours rather than 6 hours.

I am a bit annoyed at my husbands father though. I mean.. why can't he come to visit me over here. It is so hard to travel with 2 kids.. one is a baby.

Oh yeah.. well he seems to have some paranoia problem about leaving the house and would not even leave to go shopping for food when we were there..

My husband is worried about his dad.. cuz we live so far away. But to change jobs is very difficult.. especially with house prices in london. We can barely afford a place where we live now. And my mother in law would need to sell her house and relocate in hertfordshire.. or something because she has a heart condition and we couldn't leave her by herself down here.

My father in law has a wife but he is so tight with his money.. that she only visits him a few times a year.. and mostly lives between american and pakistan. His house is old and disgusting. everything is 20 years old. and the carpet is so dirty that my baby has black knees! The kitchen is a wreck.. the vacuum doesn't work anymore.. and the wall paper is falling off the walls. Talk about the tightest person that I know. And when I arrived he was eating a tin of spinich mixed with some beans and chicken cubes. Yuck. It wasn't even cooked. I feel sorry for the old man.. I just pray he sells up and moves down here some day.

So thats £75 on gas.. just to london..
and £100 towards my journey to heaven hopefully.

I spent money! Oh no!

August 26th, 2006 at 05:53 pm

Okay my husband and I spent a few bobs today. It is for a good cause. We often take the 6 hour trip to London on the weekends with the children to see my in laws. My father in law lives all by himself and he is very lonely. Unfortunately he refuses to take the trip to see us which would be easier.. Will I go senile when I get his age?? I hope not!
So we bought hayaat (my 2 1/2 year old) one of those portable dvd players. So she can watch this education abc program and tumble tots ( I ordered from america and love it they don't have stuff like that out here) I'm looking for blues clues at the moment.

that cost about £75 with vat.
We also need to buy a car seat.. or booster seat.. So far I have only seen 2 options.. £150 and £100 options.

The other booster seats.. didn't recline.. and I am not happy that my lil one will be so uncomfortable. Whats the point of saving if not for my children anyhow. She's an investment.. cuz she will get older and take care of mummy and daddy.. like a good girl. She's my pension.. I'm going to make sure she's a doctor and the brother is a business man Wink.

Okay so the other booster seats are only £40. Yet she is only 2 and half and she falls asleep and its so uncomfortable. When I was a kid.. I remember just spreading out in the backseat.. No seat belts required in those days..

Now the poor kids have to use them until they are 11. What is a parent to do who travels alot??

I'll be looking for a good deal. Smile
£70 portable dvd player
£10 on food

Making it work!

August 25th, 2006 at 12:08 am

I;m making it work.. been reading posts and blogs all day and this site is inspiring me.

I feel so ready to go out there and make some money.. Patience patience

I can't wait to save as much as possible. I plan on looking at any investments and stock option.. with companies who do not use interest loans..Its going to be a challange.. but I think me and the hubby really need a pension plan going..

Still need to budget for the kids education, and weddings..

I would like to buy a house for both of my children.. After they live with me a few years and save up some money too.. Wedding are expensive.. because I would ike to make sure my daughter is financially sorted before she is chained to a man the rest of her life. Call me a sexist.. but I think men are thick! I might just look for an orphan I can control that way he treats her right lol..

Guess parents can't choose who the children love can they?

oops already went over my budget

August 24th, 2006 at 07:13 pm

Well not really actually I am already under budget at the moment anyway..

However, I promised my friends lil girl that I would buy something for her. Her mother just had a baby and as per culture.. we have to visit and drop off a present.. I feel it is unfair to the other children so I try to get 1 child each a present..

So she mentioned today that her she needed to go school shopping for the kids uniforms. So I offered to buy her daughter a pair of school shoes.. Except I didn't realize they would cost me £30.
That okay though.. I did it as a charity and that is just as important as saving money is to me..

My little girl was upset though.. she wanted a pair of black boots too.. oh and a baby that talks..

I didn't buy her anything.. besides she doesn't need anything at the moment... and with my powers of investigation I am sure to find her several name brand really cute shoes at bargain prices.

I did however find some oilily shorts for lil ones at tk maxx. Cost me £4 for both of them.. and i'll just sell them on ebay for a fiver each.. Oilily is this name brand dutch design that can be found in harrods or harvey nichols. I bought loads of it for my lil one and I fell in love.. that is until I started saving money Wink.

The hubby and I found a great toyota prius for only £7,900. Hybrid cars will really save me loads on gas. Except someone beat me too and put a down payment on the car.. and are test driving it on friday. I really hope they don't like it.. so we can buy it..
Other wise.. we'll just have to suffer with £200-250 a month in gas.. umm thats $380-475 us dollars.. a bloody month

Such is life.. I think its more important to move into a good area where my children will be happy.

£30 shoes
£5 Ice cream and toothpaste (calm my daughters screams over not having any shoes too)
£4 oilily shorts.. (will make a £6 profit)

Still doing well with my menu.. though.. I am proud of myself so far..

starting to budget like a tightwad

August 20th, 2006 at 04:48 pm

Okay My husband and I have officially gone through a budget.. and agreed how we would like to save.. We've been looking for houses lately and my husband was worried about having an islamic mortgage and if we could keep up with the payments. I don't blame him because it is extremely expensive to live here in england. After totally all of our expenditures the least amount we could get away with is £850 a month without buying any clothes for the children and ourselves. Unfortunately my husband needs proper clothes to go to work in.. after all his job is the place where we get our money from. And its important he's not wearing holes or the same thing twice in a week... People will definately notice.
Most people seem to be living off credit, credit and more credit.. How does one live who doesn't take interest, and still survive. what happens if the roof falls in.. ectr ectr.
Its a scary thought taking on a mortgage for a house and wiping our our savings in the downpayment.. But can it be done? Should it be done?
so we wrote down a list of our short term goals, intermediate goals, and long term goals. How does our short term lead us to our long term??

1.) we definately need a house
2.) definately need 2 cars
3.) schooling for the kids

We have the house we live in! That if we keep will give us a rental return of £340 a month. It needs a new kitchen and I need to change the boiler = £2,500. So the first year we will prob. not see any return on renting the house. However, with a new boiler and kitchen we will be able to sell the house faster.. if we feel the payments on our mortgage are too high..

I figured my husband should get rid of his gas guzzler and buy a diesel car that will give him at least 65mpg. That would save us a whopping £50-80 a month on gas. If he could sell his car for at least £2000 then maybe we can put in an extra 3k. And he can buy me a lil junker to get around it.. for about £1,000. Its sad because we only just paid off my hubbies car and it was bought brand new 7 years ago. Cars really are a waste of money.
My mother in law keeps giving things to charity because she thinks her son is a doctor so he's rich. We almost got in a fight when I told her that we are poor.. cuz my husband doesn't like to work overtime and is one of the lowest paid gps working for the pct. He takes home £3,100 a month after medical fees. And just to live without buying clothes is £850 at the moment. I've started busting my ass and have so far only spent £400 on gas, food, electrictiy and ectr.. Was really pissed when I found out we owed £140 more on gas and electricity this month because they miscalculated what we owe. Such is life.

We found a house which costs 190,000. the mortgage will be about £990.
I've been as tight as I can and tried to get my expenses, utilities and petrol, food, taxes, nappies, formula and things down to £700. We have decided not to have a telephone for the first year. My husband also needs to buy a more gas efficient car.. which will cost £5k but his car is breaking down anyway. I am going to deliver the newspaper... and babysit for xtra money for clothes and expenses. So far our expenses look like 1,700 a month. Which means a saving of 1,500 a month and 18,000 for a year.. - £4,000 for yrly expenses, medical fees, and the car (which we plan to put on a 0% apr for 12mo. car.)

So thats about 14k saved in the bank..-2,000 for my car. (always need to do something like change the tires.)

So in the first year we are praying we can save 12k. It is going to be very hard.. we will not have any furniture, pots and pans, or silverware for the the first year -year and half. But I am really praying and hoping that once we get passed this year everything will be fine.

Once we have 12k in the bank then we plan on saving another 15k and putting 1ok on the mortgage.. every year. Meaning we would have the house paid off in 13 years from buying. If that is no other expenses come up in the meantime..

Plus our mortgage will slowly decrease as we pay off the house.. which will be very nice.

I feel so stressed and worried that we will not be able to do this.. In fact I am crying as I write this blog hoping that God performs some miracle on our finances and doesn't give us any added expenses.

This week I have spent 12.50 on laundry
3.17 for groc.
9.97 for meat
£4.50 for groc.
Hoping to only spend £5 next week on groc. Until my hubbies has his next paycheck. And nothing else..

All I need now is some sugar, salad leaves, milk(£6) and .88 cents, bananas and oranges, frozen peas and cauliflower and we'll be fine until the 5th of next month.. 15 days from now.


August 13th, 2006 at 03:04 pm

Okay after doing some research into tax credits in the UK .. I proposed to my law abiding husband that I divorce him...

Keep the house we live in.. claim benefits..and child tax credit..

while he buys me a house in the kids school catchment area.. I figured I could come close to saving an extra 1,000 a month..

but my husband didn't go for it.. He said he's too law abiding..He's a doctor and they need to be trustworthy people.. and besides he doesn't like the idea of divorce anyway.. I'm trapped and their is no way out LOL>>>

Then we were talking this morning.. a neighbor of my mother in law drives a mercedes and lives in a house identical to hers.. about £450,000 close to a million us dollars.. and he is a decorator..
He told my husband he has a family run company.. and doesn't report the majority of his taxes.. and gave my hubby a wink..

Pissed me off when the other day the plumber came and wanted to charge me 300-400 to install a new combination boiler in the same place as the old one.. My husband doesn't even make that much as a doctor for 1 day in this country.. Plus the plumber won't report all of his income to the tax man this year..

I was reading a very reliable book that said the max a plumber should cost to install a new boiler is £250 for a days work.

I vote for a system that all work undertaken on a persons home in the UK should be reported.. and the cost of such work. That way construction industries cannot charge consumers extortionate rates and still get away with taxes.

I am currently looking into any plumbing courses I could take myself.. and start fixing up my own house..

1,300 is just too much money when your trying to save. And I am not allowed to commit fraud ;(.. so I don't think anyone else should too.

I love this blog stuff!

August 10th, 2006 at 04:21 pm

Wow.. people are writing that I'm lively.. in my writing.. and that my life story is interested. It feels great to talk about ourselves on these blogs.. lol..

I think I should write a biography? I wonder how much money I could make? I may have a connection with some publishers.. Who knows.. LOL>

thanks guys you made my day..

Oh and I thought of adding £100 to my monthly budget for toys, educational material, and odds and ends for the house such as garbage cans.. ectr.. I think I'm gonna have to start fishing in the trash cans!!!

My first financial blog

August 10th, 2006 at 11:36 am

Okay here is my first financial blog.. I love that other people can read these blogs.. and I love to talk about money. Its my fav. subject. Even though I don't worship money in any way.... it is the most interesting non religious topic I can think of discussing. I've always loved going through numbers as a child and had my mother on a budget by the age of 8 years old.

Okay ..

The income = £60,000 yrly
take away = £ 5,400 yrly medical fees

The actual income totals £54,600

Now lets tax that..
we get £5,250 tax free
then we are taxed 22% until 21,000.
after that it goes up to 40% tax till £100,000 and then 50% thereafter.
Plus 8% for national health insurance which is mandatory.

to save time I just use the paye tax calculator (which is free)

Wage Summary
Per Year Per Month Per Week
Gross Pay 54,600.00 4,550.00 1,050.00
Tax free 5,035.00 419.58 96.83
Total 49,565.00 4,130.42 953.17
Tax paid 13,574.00 1,131.17 261.04
Insurance 3,345.16 278.76 64.33
Deductions 16,919.16 1,409.93 325.37
Net Wage £37,680.84 £3,140.07 724.63

That is of course if they tax our medical fees properly.

So we are living with £3,140 a month.

We have 9k in the bank.
The budget...
yrly payments of £200 to medical fees for hubby)175 * 2 car road tax = £350
MOT (which is obligatory to have every year in the UK) it checks to see how the car is working and whether safe on the road. £350 for hubbis car and £200 for my car. Which includes a full service.
Car insurance of £400 a year for the two of us.
That works out to £1,500 in yrly expenses.
we would save £525 a year if I don't buy a car. (which would be impossible).

Monthly budget without a mortgage.
£90 for council taxes
£35 for broadband and telephone (cheapest we could find) but worth it since I had a telephone with the minimun line rental and just for calling plumbers ectr.. my bill would be £35 easy. This plan includes unlimited calling to landlines anywhere in the country.
£200 for my hubbies petrol to work
£300 for groceries
£60 for electricity
£30 for gas
£25 for water
£100 for diapers and formula..
£50 for odd and ends (things I forgot)

TOTAL = 3,140 - £890 = £2,250.
Is it me or does that seem like a lot when you don't have a mortgage. It really pisses me off that my husband doesn't get any tax credits for the children like people on lesser incomes in this country. I have a friend who gets £800 to cover her bills and her husband takes home 1,200 a month. And his job isn't professional like my hubbies.. nor does it require him to travel or visit skitso patients in their homes.

My goals are to spend as less as possible on that £300 food budget.. I hope to bring it down to £200.
To try and save money on gas.. bringing it down to £150 a month.
And get the baby off formula as soon as possible..
It will be helpful when my daughter is finally potty trained.. I know I can do it.. !! Its just my first time.

So thats £2,250 * 12 = 27,000
- 1,500 in yearly expenses.. and i'll add £1,000 for anything unexpected.

Potential savings of £24,500 after a year..

However we have some upcoming expenses.. very very shortly...

1.) buying a car for me £2,000-4k
2.) buying a house £136,000- 200,000
3.) fix up this house and rent it. +300
4.) by hayaat hooked on phonics.
5.) take an arabic class with my husband

We need to buy a house in order to avoid private school fees. The cheapest we could possibly find in the catchment area is £136,000. which would leave me with a payment of £660 a month with an islamic mortgage for 30 years. It would only be a 2 bedroom duplex house without a garage.. and the houses are rising really quickly around here.. so we need to buy fast. I am worried whether we will be able to move up to a 4 bedroom if the prices go any higher.. which is why I am thinking of going for the 200k house... Selling my house i live in now is not an option because I put it on the market a few months ago and the prices have already risen by 5k .. and they are selling within 2 weeks. Hence it makes sense to struggle with a mortgage for a year or two until the prices top out.. Plus they are doing a lot of redevelopment in my city and I am hoping the council doesn't botch things up..

We don't invest in any stocks or mutual funds.. so these really are the only ways we can invest..

Other short term goals..
become registered as a childminder..
volunteer with the school
become a teachers assistant.
put hayaat in horseriding lessons.. ballet.. gymnastics and tots tennis
Start going to the gym for myself

Total cost of the above = £200 a month..
Hopefully I can cover some of the costs by cleaning houses or childminding.

Long term goals..
Buy a bigger house/flat in dubai £70k
Start or fund a business when the children start school full time £100k
Go back to school to become a teacher £priceless but will cost £5k
Try to get my husband to work harder so we can save more money..
Go to a muslim country to learn arabic.
Eventually live in a muslim country and study under the scholars.. and move the children into islamic schools ..
Date this needs to be accomplished.. 2013.

Main priorities.. is to learn about my religion.. learn arabic... and how to recite the quran. And to keep our family happy.. Money comes and goes.. but happiness is harder to come by.

I sound funny??

August 9th, 2006 at 09:59 pm

" like your blog. You sound very funny! Wonder why your mil called you such a name, why you were hit on the head by your teacher, why you couldn't get a job, etc, etc.. I'm sure you have a very interesting story to tell...."

I sound funny?? I am not sure what to think of that reaction... umm as in weird funny, crazy funny or happy funny?? I like to be straight forward..

My mother in law called me such a name because she is from the indian subcontinent .. she has a mental problem and lives like a hermit in the house. She also has an obsessive compulsive disorder. When Indian girls marry they usually live with the in laws. My husband was married 2 times before me and both women left because they could not deal with his mother. My husband is an only child and a "mama's boy" to the core. His mother is very controlling.. and he never had any relatives or friends to hang around with growing up. My husband's ex wives left for the same reasons I called my mother in law a bitch. When I went to go live with her I was trying to practice my religion... and allow my husband to fulfill his obligations to his mother.. Which requires extreme patience by all. As the daughter in law in my mother in laws culture it was my obligation to keep the house to her standard. (not really islamic obligation). Like I said she is obsessive about her home. It got even worse.. although my mother in law drove.. she would not allow my husband to buy me a car.. she wouldn't allow me to talk with the next door neighbors.. I wasn't allowed to go for a walk by myself.. and the doors in england usually lock from the inside.. so that one needs a key to get out of the house. I didn't have any key.. and most days was stuck in doors as my husband worked.
My husband is a simple person and as a man didn't realize what his mother was like. He knew something was wrong because 2 wives had already left him.. (despite him being a terrific husband to them). Those ex's never communicated to him exactly how bad his mother was. .... So when I told him he was shocked and told his mother these actions were wrong..
Due to religious reasons.. my mother in law had the house in her name (it was mostly her money anyway.. just a few bobs from the hubby). And therefore had control over every aspect of our lives. I couldn't even decorate my room or use the other bathrooms in the house besides my ensuite in the bedroom.. Despite my bedroom being on the 3rd floor. Imagine .. pregnant.. and having to pee outside in the garden because if you leave the cooking your mother in law would become upset ... that its not spotlessly clean....

Anyway me and the hubby talked about things.. and he was completely on my side.. but had lil control over his mother.. Since my mother in law has no family or husband and my husband is the only child.. we felt it best to remain as patient as possible and try to turn her around with a bit of love..
And boy did she love me.. She was so jealous that she would throw a fit if I talked to my own mother.
Anyway my mother finally came to visit me.. from california.. she had to stay in a hotel despite the fact that we had a 7 bedroom house. One day she was driving to visit York and got lost and in an accident. I didn't know where my mother was for almost 3 days.. as she ended up in the hospital. She called my house and my mother in law said I don't live there anymore and not to call anymore. And then hung up on her. Well in the meantime my hubby and i were at the police station filing a missing persons report. When I came home I called my aunt and asked if my mother had given her a ring. Anyway I found out that my mother in law hung up the phone on my mother.. and we got into a huge argument.. and I called her a bitch...
As soon as my mother flew back to the states early.. my mother in law kicked me out of the house at 3 or 4 months pregnant..
My husband stood by myside the whole time..
its not his fault his mother is a basket case.
Don't even know if she'll leave anything in the will for him.
We only hope that his mother will realize that we love her and will always be there for her when she needs us.. and I have forgiven her long ago..

My teacher..

She was a crazy old bat.. and I was a quite girl from a bad family. I was always a good girl.. but I never did my homework because at a young age life at home was in constant turmoil.. My teacher hit me on the head for not doing my homework.. It was in 1984 or 85 and in my small town of Olgesby Ill. they still practiced paddling the kids when they were naughty ... Hence she got away with it.

I think I should sue the school.. !!

Well I had a job while I was married to my millionaire ex husband.. He used to come a harass me.. and one day security came and pounced on him for it. I was fired because I couldn't cope with the abuse at home and a job.. and so would not turn up..
When I finally got the balls to leave him.. I had lil savings and was renting an apartment in a university town.. I had no access to public funds. I applied and no one would hire me.. I even took off my head scarf and it still didn't work.. By the time I had depleted every last cent of my funds.. I decided to do an arranged marriage with the hubby I have now. My ex came around when I wasn't home and answered the phone.. and said he still loved me and that we were still married. (which was partly true.. in that I hadn't had the legal divorce yet). My ex was from saudi and a student when we married.. so all his money was in saudia arabia.. ( he was using me for a damn greencard). Anyway.. I never talked to the ex after that time.. and after my funds were depleted I started to sleep in my car...Eventually I had to move in with my abusive and dysfunctional mother. It was very hard and I became extremely depressed.. However God blessed me.. cuz my would be hubby emailed me to ask how I was.. I told him everything .. and he still wanted to marry me. So we started the process of getting to know each other.. while I was being mentally abused daily by my mother.

Thank God I still had my head together.. I was 23 years old by then.. with not a penny to my name.. Yet I was very religious and knew I wanted to practice my religion to the fullest.. with a man who was equally as passionate. I knew my would be hubby was for me.. since he was also intelligent and would enable and support me in practicing my faith.. .. He came to vist me.. after I arranged the actually marriage process through a local (pastor) sheikh. We saw each other for 5 minutes.. and I knew the first time I looked in his eyes. It was the best choice I have ever made..
Even with all the up and downs that came along with it.
So I left my life in america.. and came to england.. with a few courses in law behind me.. Never did finish highschool but Yale didn't seem to mind when they accepted me for some part time courses.... I never went though.. and just did a few courses at my local uni and some at a college.. (helped with fees).. And that was all the while my life was hell. I might add..

Am I funny?? I don't know.. I think I'm realistic.. Some people never go through so many experiences in life.. I could tell you alot more about my life which is even more colourful..
It has made me open minded to anyones circustance.. and its so funny how I can talk to any person and truly understand where they are coming from.. It truly is a blessing from God that I am grateful for having.. And has made me the person I am today...

Fate lends a helping hand!

August 9th, 2006 at 09:10 am

I very much agree with the above.. Something I have learned is that poverty and hardship either strengthens a person or weakens them. One thing is for certain being enterpreneurial comes with the territory because we have nothing to lose.. Whereas a person with wealth or perhaps status has alot to lose if things go wrong.

From my many many experiences in life I would definately say that Money comes to people regardless of their skills. Many times they are just in the right place at the right time.. (if you believe in God then you could say it is his blessings on that person) and if you don't then you can call it a bit of luck.

My husband grew up in East london born to an indian family. He was never that smart in school.. however because his school was the worst in London he became top in the whole school. Still to get into a good school such as Harvard/cambridge is very difficult. One day he went to cambridge university to ask for an application and the receptionist all of a sudden took a liking to this dark haired indian kid with a cockney accent. She said the guy who interviews is available at the moment and she could ask if he wanted to speak to my husband. My husband was shocked and at first he said no because he wansn't properly dressed.

The interviewer dr.. something or other came out and shook my husbands hand.. My husband said he wasn't ready for an interview.. and the guy said.. it will only take 5 minutes. He asked my husband the standard questions and afterwards my husband said, " I am not going to apply unless I know I will have a place at cambridge." The guy said "Apply" and winked his eye to my husband.

My husband was accepted into cambridge medical school. He became a tutor to the other students and was awarded for his public speaking abilities. He came from a good home in that his mother is a stickler. His accent is so sexy and posh now.. But thats not all..

As soon as he arrived to cambridge a fellow student knocked on his door. He was part of the Islamic society of cambridge and wanted to welcome my husband. Which is why we believe it was Gods will that my husband go to the university. Rather than finding material wealth .. he found a religion. He now has a full beard.. has memorized some of the quran and is practicing his faith.. with an open and educated mind. (although he looks like the taliban.. he is actually very tolerant and knowledgeable.. soft ectr. and does not believe in suicide bombings).
If my husband had never had this chance he would probably have been working in a fast food rest. serving hamburgers.. maybe become a manager.. married to a girl with 2 kids.. in an up and down terrace.

Now here is even a more interesting part of our story. My husbands mother worked all her life for British gas company as a receptionist/ ass. accountant. She was offered a redundancy and early retirement and paid her house off in cash. They moved to cambridge and prices started increasing rapidly.. then she moved to the north east and she is now a very rich women with a $420k house and an apartment in dubai paid off in cash. Not to mention giving me and my husband a start on life for our own home.

Now my husband has been working for almost 7 years now.. and we live in a 2 bed terrace which is smaller than an american 2 bed apartment. We live in a really rough area with second hand furniture and our car is breaking down. And although we are not big spenders we haven't been able to save a whole lot in that past years.

Is it fate?? Well its definately not from overspending! Rather more due to extenuating circumstances.

Me I am actually more clever than my lovely husband.. And when I was in school I only had to be shown a solution once to remember it years later. I can out talk any person in an argument and make you believe the sky is purple.. I came from an abusive family with no support for my studies. I married my first husband at a young age and he was abusive. (he was a millionaire.) I was left homeless.. with not a cent to my name.. and no matter how many times I applied for a job .. I never was hired. I was a mess... Yet I don't blame myself.. rather I blame my circumstances.. as I never had not even one person ( a teacher or anyone to support me)....
Rather I remember being hit by a teach with a book in the second grade (in an advanced class) and since then skipping school...

Am I a bad person.. No way! I'd never take a dime from another person. I always smile and I am happy with what God has given me..


Be happy with what god has given us.. and use what we have well. Now that I have a chance for a happy life with my husband I plan on going back to school and becoming a teacher.. I plan on saving every penny we can on making a better life. And making the most of what I have..

I am extremely happy and grateful that god has finally given me a supportive structure to make the most of my abilities.

And most of all when circumstances don't allow us to have the worldly possessions .. don't be worried.. Its a learning curve..an experience and a benefit to those who have never had the opportunity to struggle.

Now if I were a governer.. ectr.. I know exactly how to help people out.. and I am more than confident that with the right social structure.. (family support) I'd would be one of the best.. given the right circumstances. And I would be strong enough not to kiss the ass of rich people.. cuz I have nothing to lose !! But boy am I glad for the peaceful life I lead at the moment.. and I would never want nor do I desire such a position.

It all boils down to being in the right place at the right time! I am sure their is a GOD!

Starting out

August 8th, 2006 at 10:41 pm

Okay many of you may be thinking.. He's a doctor and you have two children and barely anything saved yet??? What gives!

Okay here is the situation. My husband and I married as soon as he finished his residency (registrar period). He lived with his mother and handed over his paycheck to her because in Islamic culture it is an obligation on the son to take care of his parents. So he paid for all the normal expenses that went with that. My husband was married 2 times before me and although none of the ex wives had any divorce settlements.. he had to maintain all the expenses that go along with taking care of his mother and ex's. At that time he was only a registrar and making less than a full time doctor. Then he moved to northern england and started his first job as a practicing gp doing out of hours. It paid about £50k a year gross. Again his money was in the hands of his mother and they bought a house in cash (mostly with his mothers money she worked all her life for) and the maintence on her house took a huge chunk of his paycheck. Then He married me.. and had to pay for a mahr (which is like a dowry that is paid to the wife upon marriage).. plus the plane tickets to have me come from america. We lived in his mothers house for the first year and I traveled back and forth from the US to here as I became accustomed with life in a new family and husband. My husband was able to secure this great job for 6 months and saved almost 15k. Shortly after his post ended my mother in law kicked me out of the house for calling her a bitch (long story) and we didn't have any place to live. We lived in a Hotel for almost a week and then found the place we live in now. At first we rented and then I was able to contact the landlord and asked him if he was willing to sell. It was truly a blessing from God and he said he would sell for a blessed amount of 29k. At the time houses were rising rapidly in the uk and especially the city where we live. Time went by and the houses down the street were already going for 45k.As a muslim he kept his word though and sold the house to us. My mother in law gave us 10k for the rest of the house. I should probably mention that we don't take any interest and therefore buying a bigger house was out of the question at the time. Which is too bad because house prices skyrocketed shortly after.
During the next 2 years we have not saved anything else up accept perhaps 9k. Not due to negligence.. but my husband decided to work part time as he was tired of studying and working his arse off.. and needed a break. Plus with all the stress our marriage was going through was very difficult on both of us. When my daughter came and my husband realized the expenses he started to work different jobs and make a lil bit xtra of a wage which was mainly spent on our first child. We do not have any family to buy us clothes, presents ectr.. Not for ourselves or for our children.
As my husband was working extra jobs.. he was on the wrong tax code because he never thinks about money and underpaid. in which they have charged him for this last year.
I also think because I have not had a car or any idea of where to source cheap items in the Uk (since I'm american) that we probably spent to much on items due to our ignorance.
Now that we have got our family together and happy/ united upon the same goals. My husband has just recently got a raise.. and his tax code is back to normal we are hoping to save for a bigger house in the school catchment area for my children. As I said before we do not take interest so this will be a difficult feat in itself. Especially since my husband is not interested in working any more hours than he already puts in and it wouldn't be feasible for me to put the children in daycare and make minimun wage.
So as of august 2006 we have 9k in our pockets..
and need to be the biggest tightwads you have ever seen without sacrificing ourselves and our religious obligations.