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I sound funny??

August 9th, 2006 at 09:59 pm

" like your blog. You sound very funny! Wonder why your mil called you such a name, why you were hit on the head by your teacher, why you couldn't get a job, etc, etc.. I'm sure you have a very interesting story to tell...."

I sound funny?? I am not sure what to think of that reaction... umm as in weird funny, crazy funny or happy funny?? I like to be straight forward..

My mother in law called me such a name because she is from the indian subcontinent .. she has a mental problem and lives like a hermit in the house. She also has an obsessive compulsive disorder. When Indian girls marry they usually live with the in laws. My husband was married 2 times before me and both women left because they could not deal with his mother. My husband is an only child and a "mama's boy" to the core. His mother is very controlling.. and he never had any relatives or friends to hang around with growing up. My husband's ex wives left for the same reasons I called my mother in law a bitch. When I went to go live with her I was trying to practice my religion... and allow my husband to fulfill his obligations to his mother.. Which requires extreme patience by all. As the daughter in law in my mother in laws culture it was my obligation to keep the house to her standard. (not really islamic obligation). Like I said she is obsessive about her home. It got even worse.. although my mother in law drove.. she would not allow my husband to buy me a car.. she wouldn't allow me to talk with the next door neighbors.. I wasn't allowed to go for a walk by myself.. and the doors in england usually lock from the inside.. so that one needs a key to get out of the house. I didn't have any key.. and most days was stuck in doors as my husband worked.
My husband is a simple person and as a man didn't realize what his mother was like. He knew something was wrong because 2 wives had already left him.. (despite him being a terrific husband to them). Those ex's never communicated to him exactly how bad his mother was. .... So when I told him he was shocked and told his mother these actions were wrong..
Due to religious reasons.. my mother in law had the house in her name (it was mostly her money anyway.. just a few bobs from the hubby). And therefore had control over every aspect of our lives. I couldn't even decorate my room or use the other bathrooms in the house besides my ensuite in the bedroom.. Despite my bedroom being on the 3rd floor. Imagine .. pregnant.. and having to pee outside in the garden because if you leave the cooking your mother in law would become upset ... that its not spotlessly clean....

Anyway me and the hubby talked about things.. and he was completely on my side.. but had lil control over his mother.. Since my mother in law has no family or husband and my husband is the only child.. we felt it best to remain as patient as possible and try to turn her around with a bit of love..
And boy did she love me.. She was so jealous that she would throw a fit if I talked to my own mother.
Anyway my mother finally came to visit me.. from california.. she had to stay in a hotel despite the fact that we had a 7 bedroom house. One day she was driving to visit York and got lost and in an accident. I didn't know where my mother was for almost 3 days.. as she ended up in the hospital. She called my house and my mother in law said I don't live there anymore and not to call anymore. And then hung up on her. Well in the meantime my hubby and i were at the police station filing a missing persons report. When I came home I called my aunt and asked if my mother had given her a ring. Anyway I found out that my mother in law hung up the phone on my mother.. and we got into a huge argument.. and I called her a bitch...
As soon as my mother flew back to the states early.. my mother in law kicked me out of the house at 3 or 4 months pregnant..
My husband stood by myside the whole time..
its not his fault his mother is a basket case.
Don't even know if she'll leave anything in the will for him.
We only hope that his mother will realize that we love her and will always be there for her when she needs us.. and I have forgiven her long ago..

My teacher..

She was a crazy old bat.. and I was a quite girl from a bad family. I was always a good girl.. but I never did my homework because at a young age life at home was in constant turmoil.. My teacher hit me on the head for not doing my homework.. It was in 1984 or 85 and in my small town of Olgesby Ill. they still practiced paddling the kids when they were naughty ... Hence she got away with it.

I think I should sue the school.. !!

Well I had a job while I was married to my millionaire ex husband.. He used to come a harass me.. and one day security came and pounced on him for it. I was fired because I couldn't cope with the abuse at home and a job.. and so would not turn up..
When I finally got the balls to leave him.. I had lil savings and was renting an apartment in a university town.. I had no access to public funds. I applied and no one would hire me.. I even took off my head scarf and it still didn't work.. By the time I had depleted every last cent of my funds.. I decided to do an arranged marriage with the hubby I have now. My ex came around when I wasn't home and answered the phone.. and said he still loved me and that we were still married. (which was partly true.. in that I hadn't had the legal divorce yet). My ex was from saudi and a student when we married.. so all his money was in saudia arabia.. ( he was using me for a damn greencard). Anyway.. I never talked to the ex after that time.. and after my funds were depleted I started to sleep in my car...Eventually I had to move in with my abusive and dysfunctional mother. It was very hard and I became extremely depressed.. However God blessed me.. cuz my would be hubby emailed me to ask how I was.. I told him everything .. and he still wanted to marry me. So we started the process of getting to know each other.. while I was being mentally abused daily by my mother.

Thank God I still had my head together.. I was 23 years old by then.. with not a penny to my name.. Yet I was very religious and knew I wanted to practice my religion to the fullest.. with a man who was equally as passionate. I knew my would be hubby was for me.. since he was also intelligent and would enable and support me in practicing my faith.. .. He came to vist me.. after I arranged the actually marriage process through a local (pastor) sheikh. We saw each other for 5 minutes.. and I knew the first time I looked in his eyes. It was the best choice I have ever made..
Even with all the up and downs that came along with it.
So I left my life in america.. and came to england.. with a few courses in law behind me.. Never did finish highschool but Yale didn't seem to mind when they accepted me for some part time courses.... I never went though.. and just did a few courses at my local uni and some at a college.. (helped with fees).. And that was all the while my life was hell. I might add..

Am I funny?? I don't know.. I think I'm realistic.. Some people never go through so many experiences in life.. I could tell you alot more about my life which is even more colourful..
It has made me open minded to anyones circustance.. and its so funny how I can talk to any person and truly understand where they are coming from.. It truly is a blessing from God that I am grateful for having.. And has made me the person I am today...





2 Responses to “I sound funny??”

  1. fern Says:

    Your mother in law sounds terrible and i think you should just ignore her wishes and she certainly doesn't seem to be thinking of your best interests.

    My father was an only child and his mother (my grandmother) really disliked him having any other women in his life, including my mother, his 2nd wife and when she passed away, his girlfriend. But i fault him for not putting his foot down with her and telling her to stop being so disrespectul to his wife.

    Your husband is in a tough position having to please both his mother and his wife, but his duty to you should come first in my opinion.

  2. ummabdullah Says:

    LOL don't worry about that! My husband is on the ball with a bit of coaxing from his lovely wife Wink.. we have come along way.. and I am happy he finally did put his foot down with his mother.. She may not like it.. but its not harming her.. and at the end of the day .. he is still an obedient son.. and sees everyday of the week accept on saturdays. Her and I just don't mix very often.. which is sad.. but reality.

    Anyway.. I feel sorry for her.. cuz I still love her.. and hope she can get rid of her demons..

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